Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I cut my penus on the lid.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize