Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
