he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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