is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
