Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
the raccoons are back...
Randomize