I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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