you would pick up someone in the library
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
