Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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