Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss