so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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