I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I stole an accordion from the bar
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion