Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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