I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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