he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she looked like the before picture.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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