he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
