where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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