You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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