i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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