seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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