how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
