I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
