It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
