i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
dude. I can hear the air.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
