you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
