Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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