I love black thongs
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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