Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
