Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I had to cum in my sink.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
