I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I need help removing her.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
