it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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