my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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