trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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