I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize