Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
