i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
