Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
