College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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