Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize