terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
