The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
