We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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