i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i think my mom watched the whole time
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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