He asked to "fluff my boner.."
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
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