Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
