obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
