i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
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I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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