My friends, they love my intelligence
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize