Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
