Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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