PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
