Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
