he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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