You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
