i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
