just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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