What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
