Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Even my vagina gasped.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
