Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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